


A Promise

by Close_enough_to_lose



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types, No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: M/M, Multi, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9222332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Close_enough_to_lose/pseuds/Close_enough_to_lose
Summary: Nezumi promised he will see Shion again. As both seek to build a separate life after No. 6's collapse, their paths occasionally cross.





	1. Year 5

**Author's Note:**

> This work will be looking at the few times Nezumi and Shion meet after No.6's fall. This chapter does not detail what happened to No. 6's remains, more of that in following chapters, right after I catch up on bonus material for inspiration. There will be more tags once I actually have a concrete idea of what happens in following chapters.
> 
> If you see any typos/spelling mistakes, please let me know :)
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope this first chapter is enjoyable!

Since Nezumi left, Shion slept with his windows wide open. It was partly to ward off nightmares, partly in hopes that one day, Nezumi will appear in the frame, just like he did 9 years ago on Shion’s 12th birthday. While the fresh air did help Shion clear his head as he would wake up after a nightmare, bewildered and covered in cold sweat, no one has appeared in the window for the last 5 years, following the fall of No. 6.

Shion’s habit was concerning to some. His mother, though she understood why he insisted on keeping the windows open, was worried about his health ( _Shion, maybe you shouldn’t open the windows this wide? There is enough fresh air as it is. Besides, you will catch a cold_ ). She knew about the nightmares, but she never dared mention Nezumi. She felt inexpressible gratitude towards him for saving her son, but she knew that talking about him will cause Shion pain. Others were concerned for his safety, since he held an important position as one of the members of the Restructural Committee ( _Shion, don’t you think someone could get you in your sleep if you invite them in like that? You’re a big shot now, and that makes you a target_ ).

Shion was indifferent to these concerns. The short time he spent in the West Block, five years earlier, shaped him in a way that made him more resilient than the regular citizens who never had to worry about survival. The cold did not bother him; he had known colder nights then. As for safety, he could rely on his sharpened instincts to defend himself. He was a light sleeper, and he sometimes surprised himself with how quickly he learned to react to danger. Besides, he did not see why someone would want to attack him. This carelessness would have earned reproach from Nezumi had he been there, but Shion thought that it is precisely this carelessness that made potential enemies back away. People are afraid of those are fearless.

However, Shion was not fearless. Though useful, it was only the impression he gave to others. In reality, Shion had many fears, and most of them would manifest in his dreams, or more accurately, his nightmares. He was afraid he would stray from his mission and create a city just like No. 6. He was afraid of himself and his own ruthlessness since the day he killed a man. He was also afraid Nezumi would never come, that the promise was a lie.

That night, he had another nightmare. He was pointing his gun at Rashi. He fired a shot. Blood was spilling on the floor, forming a pool. Only the wound between Rashi’s eyes never stopped bleeding. Blood kept pouring and pouring, until it reached Shion’s ankles. It kept going up. Shion tried to escape, only to find himself surrounded by an ocean of blood. He was stranded. He could no longer see Rashi’s body. The blood kept rising. It would soon reach Shion’s neck _. I am going to drown. I am going to drown in the blood I spilled. I am going to …_

The curtains flapped. The noise was enough to wake Shion up. He was grateful for it. He felt a presence in the room. He looked toward the window. Nothing. And yet, he still had a nagging feeling there was someone else in the room. _Maybe they were right, maybe someone does want to pay me a night visit, and make sure I don’t ever wake up again on top of that._ He grabbed a book from his bedside table, as he had no other weapon with him. Shion felt something move on his left side, and without thinking much, flung the book towards where he felt his visitor was. _There goes my weapon._

“Ow!” he heard a familiar voice complain. “Way to greet someone. I do have to admit though, I never thought your instincts would remain this sharp after all those years.”

Shion’s eyes adjusted to the darkness. He could see a tall man with grey eyes and sharp features. Despite the longer hair and harsher traits, it could not be anyone other than Nezumi. Shion did not speak.

“You’re unusually silent,” Nezumi remarked. “What happened to asking so many questions that you’re almost out of breath?”

He was nonchalantly picking his nails while leaning on a wall and speaking sarcastically, as if he was absent for a day, rather than five years.

“Nezumi …”

“Yes, that is my name, good to know that you still remember it”

Shion glared. He did not feel like joking, at least not at the moment. Nezumi felt that, and went to sit on the bed, next to Shion. His gaze softened.

“Okay Shion. I will stop. So … how have you been?”

He did not know how to reply. His emotions were confused. He was both frustrated and elated. Frustrated because Nezumi was acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, and elated for the same reason: the man in front of him was indeed the Nezumi he knew and loved.

What was there to say? _I missed you. I waited for you. I love you. Why did you have to leave?_

He said none of that.

“Say, Nezumi … Do you have nightmares about that day?”

“You would have to be more precise about what you mean by “that day”. Some days I spent with you in the West Block can count as nightmares on their own.”

“You know what day I mean. The day we went into the Correctional Facility. The day No. 6 fell,” said Shion, ignoring Nezumi’s joke.

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t even react to my joke.”

Silence.

“… and you’re not reacting to this either. Shion…”

He looked directly into Nezumi’s eyes. Shion could not read them. He did not know if Nezumi felt the same heartache after they parted. He did not know if Nezumi sincerely wished to see him, or if he was there simply so that he could say he kept his promise, but not commit to it. And yet …

“I’m sorry,” said Nezumi

“Oh?”

“I kept you waiting. I didn’t bother communicating because I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry. But I did not forget my promise. I just … didn’t know when I would be ready.”

Shion felt his tension melt away. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he smiled. _You do care after all._

“After all this time, you still cry so easily, so defenselessly … It’s a miracle, considering all that you went through.”

Nezumi was talking more to himself than to Shion. His eyes were glimmering in the dark. It took a moment for Shion to realize that this glint was caused by tears which he held back. _You’re crying as well, you just won’t show it._

“Nezumi … what happened during these five years?”

“Didn’t I ask you something similar earlier?” Nezumi quickly wiped his tears on his sleeve before they started spilling, before they became impossible to hide. “Anyhow … I went back to my room in West Block, picked up a few books -- ”

“Oh. So that’s why they were missing”

“What?”

“I said, that explains why some of the books were missing from the shelves.”

Nezumi was surprised, to say the least.

“… You came back there?”

Shion smiled, but there was a melancholy to his eyes. It was about a year after No. 6’s fall that he decided to go to the underground room where Nezumi used to live. Shion had not heard from him. He had decided back then that it was up to him to find Nezumi. And so he searched for him. He had gone to the underground room, which was abandoned. It had none of the warmth Shion was used to, none of the life which Shion cherished. Looking at the fine layer of dust on the books, he had deduced that no one had entered the place in months. However, he saw a few books missing. He remembered placing them. They were _Les Fleurs du mal_ , _Othello_ and _Macbeth_. Nezumi had been there. Shion was too late.

He had decided, back then, to grab a few books of his own. Books were a rarity in what used to be No. 6. He took the most he could. After No. 6’s destruction, some of the technology was no longer functional and knowledge was lost, so books were useful. He would come back once in a while to pick up more books, but in reality, he was also hoping that one day, he would come across Nezumi. He never did. Nezumi left for good.

Shion had gotten used to that idea when he cleared out most of the books. Besides, in the past he had already waited for Nezumi. Since his 12th birthday, he had waited. Nezumi came back after four years, even without a promise. This time, he had his word.  Eventually, his life went back to normal, or at least to a semblance of normal. There would be days, weeks, months where he did not think about Nezumi. He felt calm then, but he also felt like something was missing. His world was not as colourful as it was when he had a pair of grey eyes watching over him. These eyes would come back in his dreams, and he would start missing them again.

“Yeah, I came back” was all Shion managed to say.

“When?”

“About a year after the collapse of No. 6“

 “And you still remembered which books were missing?”

“Well, I’m the one who sorted through these piles and put them back on the shelves.”

“Still, that’s impressive … I forgot how sharp your memory was.”

“Yeah … I used to think memory was a gift. I still do, but sometimes I doubt it. I’ve come to learn that it’s painful.”

“Isn’t this one of the first things I tried to teach you? I remember I told you to discard your memories, that they were an unnecessary burden.”

“Nezumi, don’t say th– “

“… I was going to say that I’m glad you didn’t. It means that the Shion I once knew is still himself.”

Nezumi smiled. It was not his usual, sardonic smile. No trace of mockery or contempt. It was a genuine smile. Shion looked at Nezumi. _You are even more beautiful when you smile like that._

“Earlier, you were asking me if I had nightmares about the day we infiltrated the Correctional Facility, right?” Nezumi asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well … I do.”

Shion was surprised, but not because Nezumi has nightmares. Even if -- and Shion hated to think about it that way-- Nezumi was used to the kind of violence that Shion witnessed that day, he was still human. It would still impact him. Shion was surprised to see Nezumi so deliberately vulnerable. He did not press any further, as Nezumi was already admitting things Shion thought he would never hear.

“They’re not about the deaths, Shion,” he said. “They’re about you.”

“Me?”

This time around, Shion was truly surprised. He did not expect such an answer.

“Yes, you, Shion. I’ve seen my share of gruesome deaths. The Correctional Facility is no different. It didn’t really stand out. What stood out for me is when you … killed that man. Rashi. I thought I lost you.”

“I’m sorry”

It was all that Shion could muster.

“Don’t apologize! Please ….”

“I killed a man, Nezumi. In cold blood. I didn’t have to. I have nightmares about it. At first I was surprised when you told me you had nightmares about that too, but considering what I’ve done… I understand now. Did you come to tell that what I did was wro --”

“Shion! Don’t you ever apologize for surviving! Don’t apologize … for saving me.”

“I could’ve done it otherwise, I could’ve shot the arm so he won’t hurt us, but I killed him. I made sure I did when that bullet went right between his eyes.”

“Shion … It is I who should apologize. I never told you that day. I couldn’t find the words. I wanted to apologize for taking your humanity away. You should never have been forced to kill someone.”

Shion was confused.

“… Taking my humanity away? Nezumi, what are you talking about?”

“I used you. And I put you in that situation. I am why you have those nightmares. I came to ask for your forgiveness.”

“Nezumi … you’re the reason I am still human. If you went alone that day, you wouldn’t have … you --”

Shion was crying again. All of the emotions he kept to himself for these five years were surfacing. _Nezumi, why couldn’t you tell me earlier? Nezumi, I would never resent you. There is nothing to forgive. I wanted to see the truth, and you let me. I don’t regret it_.  He turned to Nezumi. The tears he was hiding earlier were streaming down his face. He clung to Shion’s shirt and buried his face in his chest.

“Shion … All this time I didn’t come to see you, I didn’t forget my promise. I was afraid. I didn’t tell you earlier, but I was afraid. I was scared I would come back to see someone who is not the Shion I know. My recklessness, it forced you to do something you would have never done. I corrupted you. I caused you pain. I couldn’t face my own mistake. Yet here you are. Crying. Smiling. Being vulnerable. It was too good to be true. It’s a wonder you can still trust in people, that you can still trust in me, after what I put you through. I could not believe it. I am still not sure if I believe it.”

Shion put a hand on Nezumi’s back.

“Nezumi, there are a lot of things that have been left unsaid, but I want you to know one thing: I never once felt that you corrupted me. You don’t need my forgiveness; it has been granted long ago. My window, why do think it was open for all this time? It was for you, Nezumi. _You_ need to forgive yourself.”

“Forgive … myself?”

“Yes.” Shion smiled through his tears. “The gift of memory should not be wasted on regrets. “

Nezumi looked up. He let go of Shion. His purple eyes were earnest.

“Shion, you truly believe so?”

“Yes.”

“Will you be willing to see me again?”

“Come here.”

Shion smiled. He leaned towards Nezumi. Shion’s lips pressed against Nezumi’s for a brief moment. They were warm. Nezumi’s mind went back another kiss. _“It’s a goodnight kiss.” What a liar._

“That’s not a goodbye kiss,” Nezumi pointed out.

“No.”

“What is it, then?”

“You know very well.”

_A promise._

“Are you staying for the night, Nezumi?”

Nezumi shook his head.

“I’m glad I could see you, Shion”

“…Until next time?”

“Until next time.”

Nezumi disappeared out of the window as quickly as he appeared. Shion watched the moon as he lay in his bed. It was casting a soft light on the city.

_Until next time._

Shion fell asleep with a smile on his lips.


	2. Year 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shion faces problems in the Restructural Committee. Nezumi finds out that he is not the last of the Forest Folk after all. Meanwhile, the remains of the burned down forest on what was known as the Land of Mao start growing at an abnormal speed. Nezumi calls for Shion's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I did not think this chapter would turn out this wordy! The next ones will be shorter, given that there will be more dialogue and less description.
> 
> For this chapter, I’m following the novel and the manga, so here Yoming is very much alive.
> 
> The incident with Yoming and the organization of the Restructural Committee, along with other small details, are based on No. 6 Beyond by Asano Atsuko. Credit to 9th ave for the translations, which I used for Yoming’s dialogue. Here is a link the the chapter I am referencing: http://9th-ave.blogspot.ca/2013/01/novel-no-6-beyond-ch-3-a.html
> 
> Also I might have been unconsciously influenced by Moana while writing Nezumi’s part, given that he is being guided by an element of nature :P
> 
> As always, if you notice and typos/mistakes, please tell me, it would be appreciated! It gets difficult to notice small things in such a long text.

Seven years after No. 6’s destruction, the city’s remains finally found a new name. At first, for the sake of convenience, No. 6’s remains were still called No. 6, but the name was a burden. No, not a burden. That name was a curse. When the city still went by that name, Shion felt as if all his efforts in the Restructural Committee were counterproductive. The Committee was in place to give the city a new life and to prevent the same corruption which led to No. 6’s demise. And yet, in the early years, Yoming, who had such high ideals, was already embezzling funds in order to get to the top. Shion, on his side, though he did not steal any resources, still used lies and manipulation to get rid of Yoming’s influence. He made up and erased data to fit his own purposes, which consisted in taking down those who violated the rules of the Committee. In that sense, he was no different than No. 6’s officials, and he hated himself for that. After the Yoming incident, he gained much more influence, and he felt power flow into his hands. Some people stopped looking at him as a human being or as an equal. They regarded him as symbol. They feared him, some revered him, and others did both. He did not like how easily he was able to manipulate these people, even though it was useful. It felt wrong having the lives of so many at his hands.  Yoming’s icy words ran in his ears. _Someday, you’ll try to dominate over all, try to have everything within your grasp. You’ll reign as a cold, ruthless, and exceedingly good dictator._

Not long after the incident, Shion decided to reform the Restructural Committee in a way that would prevent a single group to gain power. He proposed a vote. The motion was passed. He did not know if it was because the other representatives agreed, or because he already held the kind of power that bent people’s will with but a few kind words. _I wonder how Karan would look at you? What kind of eyes would she behold her son with, the son who’s turned into a monster?_ Shion did not push Yoming’s words away. No, he engraved them in his memory, and did all he could to make sure there was no “when” to dread. He would not become a dictator. He would not be like No. 6.

The old structure was comprised of the Committee of twelve members, with each member heading another specialized sub-committee of twelve.  There people were volunteers, and figures who were seen as leaders by the people. There was no official vote, and the Committee members were free to choose who would form their sub-committee. It was a dangerous structure which Shion had sought to destroy. And he did.  Eventually, New City came to life.

New City’s political structure was the following: there were the Areas -- Chronos, Forest Park, Lost Town, and the former Blocks -- which were divided into small districts. Each district had a representative elected by the people. The representatives, in addition to making sure their constituents were heard, would gather and choose among themselves one official who would represent their Area. Each area ended up, on average, with 6 representatives. The Area representatives would gather among themselves as well to discuss matters that affected the entirety of New City.

There was also a Mediator, unaffiliated with any of the Areas, who was elected in a general vote. The Mediator was a person whom the citizens trusted to hear out their concerns and to help the representatives make compromises. Their role was the following: since a complete consensus was needed in order for a motion to pass, the Mediator would encourage discussion and propose concessions for the representatives to reach that consensus. They were an objective judge which made sure no one was given an unfair advantage in the Chamber of Area Representatives.

Shion was the first elected Mediator. This meant he resided in the airport Area, near the remains of what was once the Land of Mao. It was the smallest Area, but nobody counted it in the Six Areas, since it had no residents. Thus, its regulation was delegated to the Mediator as well. Shion was much happier being a Mediator than a Committee Member. Making the hard decisions was taking a toll on him, both mentally and physically. He barely had time to eat or sleep, work was taking over everything. As for the psychological aspect, being a Committee member, before the reform, forced him to take actions he felt were repulsive. As a district representative, things were not as difficult, but Shion still felt that he was too weak for that responsibility. He would have crumbled under the weight of power. Power was a burden that broke his back, twisted his principles, and took away the good in him. Listening to others, providing guidance, and helping them come up with a decision, however, was something Shion gladly did. Listening was something he had always been good at.

Living in the airport area, Shion noticed that the remains of the forest at the outskirts were growing at an abnormal speed. Some trees were growing inside the airport area, but what surprised Shion was the expansion away from New City. With some time, the forest would grow back to its original size. The world was supposed to be dead, with only a few places where life flourished. And yet, the scorched earth was reviving. Nature was resilient. Shion was looking at the forest with wide-eyed wonder. It was beautiful. Despite the horrors that happened on the land his feet were standing on, life went on.

One of the first things Shion did, back when he was a Committee Member, was to suggest the building of memorials. What No. 6 did had to be known and seen by all. Shion dug through files and files to uncover the names of all those who were persecuted by No.6. Many were missing. There was a memorial for all the nameless deaths in West Block. There was another one for those who perished in the Correctional Facility. A separate one was built for all the “samples”. Yamase’s name was engraved there. On top of the list, there was Safu’s name as well. _Forgive me. The only thing I can do is remember, and hold you in my heart. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me._

Another memorial he built was one for the Mao Massacre. He was looking at it, the white marble standing out against the dark green of the forest. He closed his eyes. He pictured the fire. Screams he never heard filled his head _. I am standing above the gallows._

He heard a skittering sound at his foot. It was a dark brown mouse, carrying a message. The creature was unfamiliar, but he knew exactly who sent it.

 

 

"Meet me tomorrow, sunrise, edge of forest. Need help."

\---

Nezumi had been wandering around for years. He met other wanderers. These were people rejected by their homes, people who did not manage migrate to the city states, people who simply felt that freedom was outside of not only city-states, but every form of community. They were not nomadic by nature.

As he travelled outside the limits of West Block, Nezumi saw the world with new eyes. He was told life was impossible outside the 6 city-states. Yet he saw people trying to build a life outside. He should have known it was possible. In his heart, he already did. He was one of the Forest People. They also used to live outside the city. They too, found life where no one thought it could exist, until it was taken away from them.

Nezumi’s scars ached. He was yearning for something, but he did not know what. As he met many other travelers, he understood that he was different type of wanderer. They all rejected community and walked away because an external event pushed them to. Nezumi on the other hand -- though, much like the others,  he did not have anything left -- travelled because that was his way. No, it was the way of his people. The only reason he did not have a community is because it was torn away from him when he was four. He tried to move on, searching for other lands, seeking something new. Yet the wind always pulled at him, and brought him back to the remains of the forest. No matter how far he walked, his feet came back to the Land of Mao.

To his surprise, each time he came back, the forest grew bigger and stronger. It was radiating life. He never thought he would see the day the forest would grow back. For him, the forest was red and orange. It was chaos. It was pain. Whenever he thought of the forest, he only saw flames. He heard their roar. He heard the screams of his people being massacred. He heard his family’s last dying shrieks. He still did, but as the shiny green leaves caught his eye, he felt hope. The wind was faintly singing. He could not be the last one of his people. If the forest is alive after what it went through, so were his people. The wind would not beckon him if it was not the case _. I will find my people. Just like the forest, we will cling to life, and rise above the ashes._

Nezumi thus spent his time travelling, but with renewed purpose: he was trying to find those who survived. _I cannot be the only one who survived. Gran survived. I survived. If an old lady carrying a child could escape, so could others. We were a strong people. There must be others. And these others cannot be too far from what used to be No.6._

He wandered and sung the Forest God’s song. His voice, as usual, attracted everyone’s attention, but he knew that those who ended up following him were connected to the forest. For the first time since Gran died, Nezumi was able to talk about the massacre. There were those who, like him, were only kids back then. There were others, older people, who remembered everyone who died, and carried the memory with them.

They came back to the forest. The people who used to live underground were dwelling there as well. Now that Nezumi was thinking about it, some of them were probably survivors of the massacre, just like him. He just never took the time to notice, or maybe he did not want to notice. They never took the time to talk about it. They never hoped to come back, and so they gave up on their heritage, because the memory was too much to bear. He did not blame them. Either way, his people were not dead. He may have been the last Singer, but the Forest People still lived on.

And so, Nezumi spent his time moving around the forest, getting to understand and connect with his surroundings. He came to know the forest like the back of his hand. All his life he ran, fought, and felt like the ground beneath him was unstable, that anything could throw his world out of balance. But he could rely on the sturdy tree trunks to stabilize him. He knew they would let him plant his roots into solid earth among them. As for his people, he knew he would come to trust them too. They may have done unspeakable things in order to survive, but so did he. They found home, and just like the forest, they would heal.

Nezumi was surprised at his own optimism. He had long shut down his emotions, especially those which gave way to idealistic dreams, because they hindered him. And yet, nature’s persistence, stubbornness, and unflinching will to live inspired a hope he never knew existed within him. Which is why, when he noticed a disease spreading among the trees, he felt lost, though his feet were standing on familiar ground.

The wind led him here. He in turn, led other people here, people who had gotten used to the forest. And now he was faced with its frailty. _Would the wind betray me?_ He took a diseased leaf. It crumbled into dust in his hand. _It’s just like ashes._ The scar on his back hurt, even after nineteen years. _What disease would make leaves crumble like that?_ It did not seem natural to him. And it would not be the first time he saw an inexplicable disease spread and destroy everything in its path.

_Shion. You survived it._

He sent a mouse to Shion. Thinking about him, he still did not know what his feelings towards him were. If he was honest with himself, despite the fondness he felt for him, paradoxically, he was still a bit afraid. But Shion was the only living person he could trust. He made a promise too, and so he would come.

\---

Shion was waiting at the meeting place. The forest seemed even more enchanting in the soft light of dawn. He was wondering what kind of help Nezumi needed. Nezumi was for more skilled and knowledgeable when it came to practical matters. While Shion was good with his hands, and he could memorize entire books, Nezumi was, in general, better equipped to survive difficult conditions. Shion could not imagine helping the other with matter that was not an imminent danger.

It did not take long for Nezumi to appear. He looked physically healthy. He was smiling at Shion, but did not bother masking the worry in his eyes.

“Only two years since last time, Shion. I’m getting better at this.”

Shion chuckled.

“So, what is it, Nezumi? You look fine, so I don’t think you need me to sew you up …”

“Don’t get your hopes up. You should have seen the face you made when you mentioned sewing me up, I think it’s going to give me nightmares. Joking aside, I would’ve told you if that was the case. Follow me.”

They walked in silence. As Nezumi was leading him to the area where the sick trees were, Shion was looking around, taking everything in. He observed species of animals he had never heard of, not even in old books. These new life forms were a testament to Earth’s strength. With each glace he caught, his curiosity only grew. His heart filled with joy. The forest filled him with wonder, and he almost forgot something was wrong. That was, until Nezumi finally brought him to the patch of diseased trees.

“Oh…” was the only thing Shion could say.

“Yeah.”

Nezumi looked like a lost child. The sight of the blackened tree bark and the dust, which used to be leaves on the branches above, frightened him. He thought that he finally learned to trust in beings other than himself, but he started doubting once more. After returning to the forest, he truly believed he was standing on firm ground. _Could it all be a lie?_

“Shion. I need to know if this disease is serious. Please,” Nezumi implored.

_What am I doing, begging like this?_

“You know, I haven’t pursued ecology since I was kicked out of Chronos. That would be eleven years --”

Shion caught Nezumi’s pleading gaze. He understood that there was something other to the situation, something beside his knowledge of ecology. He decided that he would let Nezumi open up at his own pace.

“… but I’ll try my best. Let’s see.”

He crouched to examine the trees. Nezumi crouched beside him. For a second, Shion got distracted by the sight of Nezumi’s scar. It was made visible as his shirt was slightly lifted while he was getting down to observe the tree along with Shion. He quickly turned his eyes back to the tree and focused on the matter at hand. Though the bark had an unusual colour, it was not rotting. The way the leaves crumbled was not something Shion had seen before, but it did remind him of the way brown autumn leaves would break into pieces once fallen on the ground. He took a moment to think.

“You’re right, they are diseased. But I don’t think they will die, nor do I think the disease will spread very far. Say, how much bigger did the forest get over the last few years? I’ve only seen it from the airport area, so I don’t know how much it expanded.”

“Hm… It’s hard to tell. After the massacre… I did not come back. I started visiting only a few years back, and each time, it grew at least twice in size. First time I saw it, it couldn’t have been more than half the area of Forest Park. Right now, I’d say it’s almost the size of No.6.”

“Yeah, that’s not a natural growth, that’s for sure,” Shion said, standing back up. Nezumi followed his lead. “Oh, and we don’t call it No. 6 anymore. It’s New City now,” he added as an afterthought.

“New City, huh. Interesting.”

“Yeah.”

“…So, about the trees?” Nezumi pressed, visibly nervous.

“Oh, yes. I haven’t seen a disease like that before. Then again, the Earth went through so many changes… Species died and appeared – just look at all these new animals in the forest! -- and the same goes for diseases. It might be a new virus or bacteria, but I wouldn’t worry too much.  If the forest found a way to grow this much, I think it will be fine.”

“Are you sure it’s not something … above scientific explanation?”

Nezumi was looking at Shion’s scar. It was paler than he remembered. He shivered.

“The forest’s growth is also above scientific explanation. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why the trees are sick.”

“What do you mean?”

“The forest was almost annihilated, right?” Shion avoided using the precise words to describe what had happened to it. He did not want to cause Nezumi unnecessary pain. “Suddenly, it started growing and growing, but the Earth hasn’t completely recovered. So the growth was halted, because it’s impossible to keep up with such a rhythm. There is no way such a growth can be sustained without the soil being depleted of necessary nutrients, at least temporarily. As a result, the trees lack the resources they need to remain healthy and strong, so the disease took advantage of that. For example, imagine you are very sick, and then suddenly you start feeling better, recovering much faster than expected. You feel like you can take on the world, but in fact you are still recovering, but you can’t feel it, because you are already feeling much better than before. But your body can’t handle all of that stress. So you end up exhausted, and your recovery gets delayed. I think that’s what the forest is going through.”

Nezumi considered Shion’s words. He thought back to his own past. He was beaten down many times, and he always rose back up, that he knew, but he had not really thought about the time it took him to recover. He tried to remember such instances. He recalled days where he would collapse out of exhaustion, even though he had felt perfectly fine the day before. He remembered minor scratches which refused to heal. His thought back to one time where he fell ill, just as he was recovering from an injury.  Maybe Shion was right.

“I can still make sure the water quality is okay in the sources that flow out of New City to here, and I will see if there is a similar thing happening in the City. We can also send specialists your way, if you wish, since, again, I am not really qualified, ” added Shion as he felt Nezumi’s hesitation.

“Okay. Thank you, Shion. I don’t think there is a need for specialists though.”

“No problem. But … that’s not the only reason you wanted to see me for, is it, Nezumi?”

_I forgot how observant you were, Shion_

“I don’t know, why do you think so?”

“I don’t want to push further if you are not willing to talk about it, Nezumi. I just wanted to make sure you are okay. I guess I felt you wanted something else, because you called me to check out a strange disease, but then you refused the help of specialists. You wanted my help precisely, which made me wonder.”

“Well, Shion, what can I say … I am talking to _you_ , about an unnatural, unprecedented disease.”

Shion was starting to understand.

“I see. You’re afraid to lose the forest, just as you thought it was saved, is that it?”

Shion’s mind went back to the day the parasite wasp almost killed him. He remembered almost nothing but excruciating pain. He dug deeper into his memories to find Nezumi’s screams ringing in his ears once more. _You can’t just die right after I saved you!_ He figured Nezumi was reliving the same moments in his mind as well.

“I guess you can say that,” Nezumi replied. After a moment of hesitation, he added: “It’s also that I don’t know who to trust. At a young age, I learned that other humans were not to be trusted. Later in life, I started doubting non-human forces as well. They take and take and destroy just as well as humans sometimes. When the forest was coming back to life, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could start letting my guard down. But then this happens right when I thought I was getting some stability. And then I remember you, and how black spots starting growing on your hands, how you were screaming, and I tell myself I was foolish. To think I almost lost you because of a fucking wasp …”

“Nezumi … the wasp was implanted.” Shion tried to reassure him. “I was a sample, remember? This is a human deed. And no one expects you to fully trust everyone.”

“... but you, you trust so easily. Even after you’ve seen reality. Not that I want to follow your example but … I am curious. How do you do it, Shion?” Nezumi was earnest.

“Well, at first, it was because I was raised that way. Why wouldn’t I trust people, in a city where everyone was happy?” Shion said with bitterness. “But truth to be told, since I started to work on rebuilding what is now New City, I trust people less and less. I start seeing power-thirsty, greedy, corrupt people trying to get to the top and to recreate No. 6. I try to see good in everyone, but each day I live in fear that in the end, we did all of this for nothing, and I let No. 6 rise again.” Shion sighed.

“So you’re saying, there’s no way I can learn to trust?”

“That’s not – okay, I admit it did sound like that, I’m sorry.” Shion was surprised by his own cynicism. “But Nezumi?”

“Yeah?”

“The scars on your back are healing. Don’t you think that’s a sign?”

Shion gave him a wide smile.

“What are you talking about? They’re not healing. In fact, they were causing me pain not too long ago. They’re here to stay, Shion. Forever”

“I’m not saying they’re gone, but they did become much paler than last time I saw them.”

“You saw them in the dark. The difference in lighting probably makes it look like they’re paler.”

“Precisely! I saw them in the dark, and the eyes don’t distinguish colour as well in the dark. But even with that, in the dark they stood out much more than now, in daylight, which means they did get paler.”

“Even if they are, what is that supposed to mean? Also, why were you looking at my bare back? Although, about that, I guess you can’t help it, it’s not every day that you see someone as attractive as me.”

Shion tried to stifle a chuckle, but to no avail. He was laughing. Once he regained his composure, he explained:

“What I meant is that the psychological wounds you suffered, they left scars, and you can’t help that. No one can blame you for your scars. But scars, even ones such as yours, heal. And I believe that one day, as these scars heal, you will be able to trust someone other than yourself.”

If these words were said by anyone else, Nezumi would have rolled his eyes. _This sounds like some really cheesy line from a bad novel._ Coming from Shion, however, these words were overflowing with sincerity and love.

“Maybe you’re right. After all … I’ve come to trust you, didn’t I?”

Nezumi grinned. Shion was beaming. They stood speechless, until Nezumi decided to break the silence.

“Shion, since you’re here, there’s also something else I needed to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

“One of the reasons that I trust you is because you never gave up on me. You barely knew me, yet you still risked everything for me, and I will forever be grateful for that. But please, Shion …”

“What is it, Nezumi?”

“Don’t sacrifice any more for me than what you already have. You don’t have to sit around waiting for me. Go on, live your life. I don’t want you to be dependent on me. Have your own experiences. Have fun. Don’t be afraid of having other relationships. I don’t want you to be shackled to me. Could you do that for me, please?”

“Nezumi, don’t tell me you’re saying goodbye.”

The smile that graced Shion’s lips a few moments earlier had faded. The despair he had felt after Nezumi’s departure was welling up in him once more. Nezumi sensed it, and put a hand on Shion’s shoulder.

“I am not saying goodbye. I want to see you, Shion, but I want to see you living a fulfilling life, without being restricted by me or by the feelings we have for each other. We will meet again.”

“What about you? Will you be alone?”

“No. I found other survivors, Shion. The Forest Folk are alive, and I will stay in the forest with them.”

“Nezumi, you didn’t tell me there were other people living here! That’s amazing!”

“Tell me about it. I have a hard time believing it as well, but it’s real. But yeah, Shion. I won’t be alone, and I have a duty towards them. After all, I brought them here.”

“You did?”

“Long story. I’ll tell you another time maybe. Point is, Shion, you have a city to rebuild. I have my people to look out for. We cannot walk side by side, but our paths can still cross. You’re a sedentary type who likes stability, and I can’t offer you that, but that doesn’t change my feelings for you. There _is_ still something I can give you, though. “

“What is it?”

“The gift of memory. We can create more memories when we seen each other again.”

Shion felt tears forming in his eyes. Nezumi smiled lovingly. _You still cry for others._

“You grew, Nezumi. You used to think memories were a burden, I remember that. Now you cherish them. I’m happy for you.”

They walked back the airport area, switching back and forth between casual conversation and comfortable silence. When they arrived to the edge of the forest, Shion spoke.

“Next time, I will come to you, I won’t wait.  I promise you I will be independent. And I really look forward to seeing what kind of life you will build too.”

They looked at each other. They embraced. _Thank you for everything_ , they both thought, and voiced it not with words, but with their gesture.

Nezumi was the first to walk away. Shion watched until he was but a spec fading into the forest. It seemed that he was always the one to watch Nezumi leave, but this time around, there was no heartache. He knew that when the right time came, he would only need to follow him to be able to stand by his side once more.


End file.
